The Manger

 

As I stood outside this warm Christmas morn, I hear sirens off in the distance.  My heart began to hurt for all those that are hurting this day of celebration of the birth of a Savior.  I began to pray, for whoever was in need that the sirens were answering, to those that have suffered great loss, to the one hurting because “life is just hard.”  I began to think on the sermons that pastor has preached the last couple of weeks on the manger. 

                He brought out that if you think about a manger, it is in a barn, filled with animals, filled with the slobber from a tongue licking the feed, the stench of the feces, the urine that comes with animals in a stable; yet the King of Glory stepped out of heaven, took on a robe of flesh, came not to the rich man, the finery, but into that filth to redeem mankind.  The Son of God- Emmanuel, God with us.  The Son of man-human in form. The King of Kings and Lord of Lords. The Prince of Peace.  To fulfill the plan of salvation for you and for me that was laid out before the foundation of time.  Came to the filth.  Just like He comes into the filth of our lives.  Today as I am thankful for the Son of God stepping into the filth of my life and redeeming me, I pray for those around me that don’t know about Jesus, those that choose not to allow Him in trying to find peace in things or substance, those that are hurting, those that life is just so very hard.  That they would catch a glimpse of the mighty love of God.  That came into this world, in the filth so that mankind could know that God will meet you in your own personal filth.  To God be the Glory, great things He has done!  

Joh 3:16-17  For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.  (17)  For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

Cost? or Price?

 

Recently, I sat in church, listening to the preacher preach truth, but my mind and my heart were in great turmoil over my selfish, self-centeredness.  I had wanted to go to church.  So I did. As I sat in the pew and began to listen to the Word on "Not being like Asa in his later years," I began to think on, exactly what it cost for my fanny to be in a church pew, listening to the WORD of God preached.  Asa traded the things of God to the enemy for peace, to prosper in peace.  As I noticed the service was not being streamed, my anguish at myself became even more intense, I was broken inside because I realized, I put myself first the expense of my husband's spirit's needs.  Why did I think it was more important for me to hear the Word than for him?   

Why is it even a choice you might wonder?  This season of life someone has to stay home to care for mother.  It isn't an option. My husband loves me enough to sacrifice something he needs for me to have what I need.  The O'Henry story "The Gift of the Magi" where the wife sells something of value of hers (her hair) to get (a watch fob) for the husband, and he sells his item of value (his watch) to get something special for the wife (hair combs).  True love sets their self aside for another.  Jesus said Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. (Joh 15:13)

Sometimes I just want to scream at the top of my lungs at those that just "choose" for whatever reason to stay out of the house of God.  Do they even know what they have in the freedom to go when they want without having to make the choice of who stays home?  I want to say, "Take advantage of what you have been given, what you take for granted."  We take the ability to come and go as we please for granted and squander it away on things that have no eternal value.  Perhaps if a person considered what it would be like to not have the option of going to church when they wanted, it would mean more????? I don't know.  But this I do know, it is important to feed your spirit more so than we feed our physical man.  We don't find reasons to skip to many meals, or choose which person in the house gets to eat dinner, why do we do those things to our spiritual man, our eternal man?   

 

Take advantage of your freedom to go to the House of Worship.  Take advantage of having a Bible in front of you to read. Take advantage of the blessings God has given us to serve Him with victory.  

 

I just want to leave this thought "Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?" Mar 8:37  Is there anything on this earth worth choosing over taking those steps necessary to spend eternity with Jesus?  

Waves Crashing

 

Conviction..... like the waves crashing...sweeps over my soul.  

Luk 10:41-42  And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:  (42)  But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.

 

Have you ever been slammed with the deep conviction that only the Holy Spirit can bring?  The kind of conviction that hits you in the gut and almost doubles you over from knowing how wrong you are in the presence of a Holy God?  I encountered one of those today.  Conviction for being a hypocrite.  Conviction for being a Martha in a Mary moment.  Conviction for honoring God with my lips but where does my heart and my actions lie?  Conviction for not seeking for the one I claim to want with all of my heart.

My lips say that I want to see God move, my lips say, pour out your Spirit Father, let us reach you and touch you and worship you. My lips say from the first word to the last amen, let it be all about you.  Yet my actions…. I had a moment, so let me catch up the work in the office,  I had a moment so let me…. I have a moment so let me check my messages,  I have a moment so let me fix this.  I have a moment…  

What if, the Spirit spoke to my heart, when you have a moment and you spend it on the One you are seeking?  The One you say you want with all of your heart?  What if when you have a moment  you begin to prepare your heart?  What if when you have a moment  you set aside all the responsibility of the moment and just worship at my feet and learn of me?  What if you have a moment and instead of squandering it on stuff that will always be in front of you, you give it to me?  What if???  Would our service begin differently?  Would our hearts already be at a place of receiving from the Father?  Would our Worship already be on our lips?  What if?

What if we would choose to be a Mary in a Martha world. 

(and let’s not even talk about the challenge of the sermon & the conviction of checking where our eyes  are focused the discouragement or the promise? )

NOT ME

 

Been thinking about Jesus and His last days on earth and what that must have been like.  Did He know when He chose Judas that he would betray Him, and yet He chose Judas anyway?  The word says that He knows us before the foundation of time, so I believe that Jesus did know.  He was purposefully chosen to fulfill his role in history. 

What would it have been like to know that you came to be the Savior of the world, to shed the necessary blood for mankind’s sin once and for all because God so loved the World?  His path was not easy.  He was hated, He was used for His miracles, He was loved, He was pursued. He spoke truth that was not understood. He poured into His team to prepare them for what was coming.  He gave them warning, a play by play, yet they turned deafened ears and blinded eyes because it didn’t mesh with what they thought.  Not happening….

I peeked into the upper room at that Last Supper, where he broke that bread, and said “This is my body, He took the cup and told them this was His blood.  He told them He wouldn’t partake of the fruit of the vine until He was in the kingdom of God.  Yet before He broke that bread, He told them, one who is supping with me will betray Me.  Oh they were all sorrowful.  Not Me…

After they broke bread, he tells them ALL OF YOU will be MADE TO STUMBLE.  PETER said, “NOT ME.” “Though none go with you I WILL.  Peter was warned before the rooster crowed twice, HE WOULD DENY HIS BELOVED CHRIST three times.  NOT ME  said Peter.

They come to the garden.  Gethsemane.  Jesus said, “Sit here while I pray.”  “Stay here and watch, My soul is exceeding sorrowful.”  Jesus prayed. 

He found them sleeping and said to Peter, “Simon are you sleeping? Could you not watch and pray?”  then HE said something to them that I realize, He was as much sorrowful for what they were going to go through that they weren’t prepared for as He was for the heaviness of the sin of the world.  They were too busy being in denial, NOT ME, I could never forsake my beloved Savior.  NOT ME, I have walked with you.  I have talked with you.  I am strong in you, Jesus.  NOT ME.  He said again, could you not watch one hour?  HE said in  Mar 14:38  Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. The spirit truly is ready, but the flesh is weak.  

Jesus knew they were weak.  Jesus knew they weren’t prepared.  Jesus KNEW what they were getting ready to walk through.  He knew even though they vowed total loyalty, which the spirit of man was willing, but the FLESH oh, our flesh, how weak it was.  NOT ME

 

I find myself thinking of today. HE IS COMING SOON! Jesus is warning.  The signs are there.  His Word tells us what to expect in the last days before His return.  Some of the phrases He says, “Many be offended” “Shall hate one another” “There shall be famines, and pestilences” You can read the list in Matt 24, in Mark 13.

He tells us there will be many false prophets.  That there would even be those that do miracles in His name, but aren’t His.   My heart is distressed at the thinking in our land that just because we live, that we go to heaven.  God’s WORD is clear, that you have to  Repent, and believe on the name of Jesus. 

 

I find myself asking, “Will we fall into the trap, NOT ME, it can’t happen to me, though none go with me, I will follow.”  I propose instead, we realize that if not for the Grace of God, there could go I and “Could we not watch and pray?” 

Aloneness….. & God’s Goodness

There are days and moments of time, that how alone I am in the world now that my brothers are gone really hits like a ton of bricks. Today was one of those. BUT GOD. This is a testimony of HIS goodness, not my distress.

The morning began with downpour when mom needed to get in the car to go for an appt. I began praying, (selfish prayer because I didn't want to get wet strapping the scooter down) that there would be a break in the rain while we loaded the car. THE RAIN LET UP. God thing # 1.

Half-way to Ellington, the car overheated complete with steam boiling out from under the hood.... After inspecting, knew I had to call for help. Mom can't get in just anyone's car...worry number 1. How to make appt on time or we can't get her medicines that are needed worry # 2. What to do with the car. Worry #3. Who to call for help...worry # 4. Breakdown in area with no cell service...worry #5. I began to pray. God, send someone along, God, give me wisdom what to do here and God let me have at least enough cell service to call Ted to see what I should do. God thing #2 cell service... I got out and hopelessly looked at the motor & steam, looked at my phone & had enough service to call Ted...which panned out useless, he was at spot he didn't have service. Then who to call while God was giving me bars of service???? Cars passing by not even slowing down, didn't have much hope of help. The list of who to call didn't exist. There wasn't anyone I could think of who could come help that I had a number for. Allen would have been my 2nd choice. .. As panic began to settle in a truck slows down & pulls in behind me & a truck pulls in coming from the other way. God thing # 3 The one, when they figured out we needed help with mom being able to get home, drove to make calls WHERE THERE WAS CELL SERVICE. The other helped me to get enough fluid in and follow me into Ellington even though they were headed to work in the opposite direction.

Long story. I know. BUT a reminder. I AM NOT ALONE. God is with me and while HE doesn't always choose to show me in such a tangible way, HE IS THERE. The one thing in my aloneness I can count on in life is HIS GOODNESS.... especially in the storms. There are still other concerns to deal with... BUT GOD. I know I can rest in Him.

People.......that is a whole different story.

Psa 91:1-2 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. (2) I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.

Big Brother

Ever since that phone call that rocked my world yet again, I have been thinking of the line in the kid’s song…. AND THEN THERE WAS ONE.  I don’t pretend to understand. 

NINETEEN months ….JUST NINETEEN…. That is all that separated us.

Big Brother defined as the one who beats you up but doesn’t want anyone else to…

Big Brother, while the one who beat the tar out of you, was the one who fiercely defended you…..

Big Brother, the one who climbed being the second story man, while the little sister was the one who stayed on the floor for you to hand the bounty…..

Big Brother, the one who didn’t want the pesky little sister around, but was a captive audience when you had the measles…the one who was in bed sick with the little sister reading, talking, and singing to help you pass the time away….. Or was it the chicken pox…. Or both.

Big Brother, He is the one who ganged up with you against the peskier little brother and convinced him that he was adopted because he belonged to the “milk man.”

Big brother, the one who when playing school, made the pesky little sister stay inside until she read your reader before she could come tag along....

Big brother…  the one who watched about and took care of everyone and everything…the one who at times I got so frustrated with and called Boss Hog. (In love of course ;0) )

Big brother…the one who shouldered much more than most know....

Big brother…. The one who I always thought would be there to do what you did...

Big brother…. Too stubborn for your own good....

Big brother…the one whose shoes I am left to fill, but don’t quite know how….

Big brother…. If I had known when we crossed paths coming and going at the door that Saturday morning…that would be my last moment to speak…. I would have stopped and listened better and said so much more.  I think perhaps we were both wrapped up in functioning, both with our own physical ailments, mine a horrible headache…. Now I know that yours was so much more serious…..

Big Brother… if I had only known, I would have listened better as you talked about mom’s farm and dealings…. You told me everything I needed to know to get my footing if I would have paid better attention, but I was wrapped up in what I did and dilemma’s you didn’t want to listen to …..

Big brother…. Little brother…. I didn’t ever dream I would be the last one standing….. I was the wimpiest of us three…. So unreal… so very, very unreal.  I keep thinking someone will pinch me and I will wake up.

But God…. My faith phrase…. But God…. And only Him will I be able to half-way fill your shoes and make sure all is well with the farm, (that farm was your joy, your baby)  and with mom’s needs.  But God. 

Isa 24:15  Wherefore glorify ye the LORD in the fires….

2Co 1:3-5  Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;  (4)  Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.  (5)  For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.

Love You Glen Allen Foster.  September 22, 1958-November 5, 2018

WORSHIP?

As I pulled into the yard this evening, the sun was shining through the sugar maple whose leafs are still full, but are the most vivid yellow color.  I could only imagine how ALL of CREATION WORSHIPS the creator.  As the leaves danced in the breeze and the sun cast a glow on them, I thought of a CREATOR who spoke the Sun into existence and told the trees when to go dormant for the winter.  A God who created a myriad of beautiful colors and things that we take for granted; however they worship the creator.  How do they worship?  In Psa 66:4 All the earth shall worship thee, and shall sing unto thee; they shall sing to thy name. The earth obeys the voice of the Father. Obedience is just one of many facets of worship as we have been learning in Bible Study.  

I came up the road home today and pulled into the yard to a dazzling display of God’s creation.

It would seem that God is speaking to my heart about MY worship.  Am I like Goldilocks in the Three Bears?  Do I need things just right according to my standard?  Do I need a certain song? Do I need the right music with the song?  Do I need the building not too hot, not too cold but just right? What do I need to Worship?  Wednesday the stage was cleared.  There were no musicians for the piano or guitar.  There were no extras to run a sound system to go to the plan b of soundtracks.  It was just voices to be lifted in praise.  It was not the most comfortable of settings.  I found myself thinking of how often do we let the “music” move us and carry our emotions?  God spoke into my heart to imagine what the worship sounded like to HIS EARS when Paul and Silas sang praises in the prison at the midnight hour. They had been beaten and locked up and there were no musicians, no right conditions, just them, the chains, the bars, and the rock and yet they lifted their voice in praise.  Was the voices cracked from pain?  Possibly.  But it moved the Father that the very foundations of the prison shook.  I found myself asking, when is the last time my praise came from a singleness of heart solely  to lift the Lord on High NO MATTER WHAT is going on around me?  When was the last time Worship moved the Father to shake the foundations of the place I was in?  Read the story in Acts 16:23-26 And when they had laid many stripes upon them, they cast them into prison, charging the jailor to keep them safely:  (24) Who, having received such a charge, thrust them into the inner prison, and made their feet fast in the stocks.  (25)  And at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard them.  (26)  And suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken: and immediately all the doors were opened, and every one's bands were loosed.

Another worship service, again God spoke to my heart as worship was hindered and tight.  Is this your best?  If this was the last time that you could Worship me on earth before you stood in front of me, would you be pleased or ashamed?  It broke my heart to think of my goldilocks mentality.  I could offer excuses that this wasn’t going right, or that something else needed changed or that someone was hindering me, but reality is the question was mine.  How would I answer to God for myself?  Would I be able at the moment to blame or shift the attention?  Again my heart broke.  The Word tells us in  1Ch 16:29  Give unto the LORD the glory due unto his name: bring an offering, and come before him: worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness.  In John, he tells us in 4:24  God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.

I am left with my two questions, as the Holy Spirit shines a light into my life and asks me to search my heart, 1) Am I giving my best in worship, no matter what?  2) Would I stand before God pleased or ashamed of my Worship if I were to stand in front of HIM? 

God, help me to be as all of creation and worship you with a pure heart, with all I have, come what may.