SHARDS

Have you ever wondered when your heart is crushed in a jillion pieces, how it can shatter even more?  I find myself wondering often at times, just how many more ways can a heart shatter.   Yet.  A careless word, a wrong thought,  a meaningless action, pound and shred what is already broken.  A phone call, demands on you that you don’t have it in you to fulfill, circumstances,…a loss, rejection,  another blow to an already shattered heart smash, smash, smash, the pounding continues….

Shard: a fragment.  Sliver: a small, slender, often sharp piece, as of wood or glass, split, broken, or cut off

Tiny slivers, that when you try to pull them back together cut and hurt.  Tiny slivers that when you speak around them, the air causes them to fly through the air and stick in someone else and hurt them or perhaps they try to walk through the pile to help you and get cut in the process. Tiny slivers that splinter and wound. Tiny slivers that are impossible to sweep back together.  Tiny slivers that will wound those trying to help you. Tiny slivers. Tiny slivers that you grab a hold of tightly and pull them to you rather than risk opening your hand and trusting. 

I find that one of the HARDEST things to do when sitting among the shards and slivers, trying to put the pieces back together,  is to just sit still and trust God. To trust that God is not going to crush you but that HE  is fixing what is broken.  I find that opening my hand and exposing the pieces takes more courage than I often have within myself.  Trust oh so difficult.  BUT if I wait, and let God be God and trust the master craftsman, He will gather the pieces, will fire the oven and will create a far more beautiful work than I could ever accomplish just by gluing the broken pieces together.  There is GREAT HOPE in brokenness if you think about it for it allows you to be open to God's workmanship.  How amazing when God sweeps in and does what only He can do....for  "I" am no longer in the way......

JESUS said: Luk 4:18-19  The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised,  (19)  To preach the acceptable year of the Lord.

Psa 34:17-19  The righteous cry, and the LORD heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles.  (18)  The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.  (19)  Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all.

Psa 51:16-17  For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering.  (17)  The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

BLESSED

What does it mean to be blessed? Most people have a lot of different ideas of what ‘blessed’ means to them. In November, we often watch those begin a daily journaling of things that are thankful for. According to Webster (and the way people describe the word) blessed means bringing pleasure, contentment, or good fortune. Blessed also means held in reverence; honored in worship. In the Word of God, the word blessed can be found over 300 times and in places it means to kneel in adoration and in other it means happiness.

I find myself walking through a season that has caused me to rethink what I would call “blessings.” I find myself looking into a mirror held up by the Holy Spirit of God and through circumstances beyond my control and seeing how self-centered I actually am. See, my idea of being blessed is “happiness, things going the way I want them.” However, I am learning that the deeper meaning of blessed is being able to kneel in reverence and worship no matter (as the Apostle Paul would say) if I am abased or if I abound. [Phil 4:11-13]. The apostle said that he learned to be content in whatever state that he was in. That my friend is where blessings lie I have discovered.

In this season where difficult choices are having to be made and road is a whole lot rockier that I would like to walk and settling for what I don't "wnat", I have discovered that the blessings are not “things.” It is not in coming and going and life being as it always was and assuming it will always be. I have discovered that the real blessings are in not getting what I deserve. The blessings are in being preserved from harm. The blessings are in coming into the throne room of God and being met by His presence. The blessings are in family and friends and church family sacrificing time and talent to come alongside and walk shoulder to shoulder helping when they have their own lives to see to. The blessings are in picking up the Word of God and having just the right Word or in encountering God’s presence just when you think you might not be able to take another step. The blessings of a folded up paper being put in your hand when you are in dire need, to discover the Lord has provided an answer to prayer. The blessings are in knowing that God cares more about your eternal nature than your earthly comfort. The blessings are in a child’s arms wrapped around your neck in sincere love. The blessings are in being able to reach out to another in Christ’s love.

I have been challenged. My challenge to myself and to you are put things where they belong. We are not entitled to anything except eternal damnation. Look beyond the surface. If everything you own was stripped away and you stood with Christ in your heart and that alone—then you are a very rich person, a very blessed person indeed.

THIS LITTLE LIGHT

Grrr... I found myself uttering in frustration. I like a room completely dark in order to sleep. Last night was one of those that insomnia threatens and every little beacon of light seemed to glow brighter and brighter increasing my frustration with not sleeping and increased my focus on why there were so many lights in a room.

As I tossed and turned and covered my head and turned over the clock to face the table and turned over the remote that every button is lit up on to subdue them, the scripture began to run through my mind Mat 5:14 Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Even though I turned the clock face down, there was still light glowing around the edges. Even though I turned the remote upside down...yep, there was light glowing around the edges. I began to think about the tiny less than 1/8 inch battery indicator on the laptop that was glowing green. It isn’t very large, but it is lighting the room. How about the little red dot on Garrett’s DVD play that indicates off? Yep was lighting the room. I began to think about how little light it takes to invade darkness. Jesus said, “Ye are the light of the world, a city that is set on a hill.” I think there were 5 or 6 things glowing in the dark last night which lit the whole room. I began to wonder what if, God’s children would allow the light inside of them to glow in a darkened world? See it didn’t take much light to shatter the darkness in my room. I found myself thinking that we might want to be accepted or liked or favored so we have a tendency to do what Jesus went on to say: Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.

We are admonished to not put our light face down on the table to make it easier. OUCH. Sometimes that is a difficult task. I found myself thinking if I am ever going to get any sleep then I need to get up and unplug everything. This led me to thinking light needs a power source. I asked myself, “Am I fully plugged into my power source? Do I allow the light of Christ to shine through me? Do I put my light under a bushel? (or face down on a table) Do I unplug from the outlet to make life easier?” God forbid that I could answer yes to any of those but I fear at times maybe I don’t like the answer I might give.

So my reflection for insomnia and the battle of the lights is to challenge God’s people to be what He called us to be, “The light of the World. A city set on a hill” (Yes one little light looked like a whole city lit up in the dark!) To not cover the light inside of us so that He might be high and lifted up!