Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Daddy Where Are You?

Father’s day is one of those bittersweet days for me.  I enjoyed seeing all of the proud children praise their fathers and I lived a bit vicariously through each and every post. I am so very thankful for the daddy my kids have and the Poppa that he is for our grandson.  I am so very thankful for a father-in-law who took the girl who eloped with their baby boy and treated her as if she was his very own daughter and loved me unconditionally.  The bitter part of the sweet comes when I think of my own inner hopes and dreams for that precious relationship with my own father.  He was busy.  I am learning after the fact, he probably did the best that he could.  To give the benefit of the doubt, he was working away from home, running a farm, and trading during our growing up years and all of those things take a lot of time. I suppose that the little girl (child) inside of a person never really grows past the hurts nor do they lose the hopes and dreams that maybe someday…..

I want to shift focus to the Heavenly Father.  He is a Good, Good Father.  He never lets me down even though I fail him often.  I want to be a bit open right now to tell just the struggle it has been for me to learn to walk in a loving trusting relationship with that Heavenly Father, and that He is a Good Father with good plans for me.  What I have learned is that people view God with their human eyes and focus with the lens of what is known in the here and now.  We filter His nature, His traits by what we have encountered in our human relationship (or lack of) with an earthly father. 

Some lessons that I have learned in my walk with God at different times as my heart is ready for another layer to be peeled is that my trust was not there,  my ability to accept love from God was not there.  I expected to be looked over.  I expected to be disappointed. I expected to be rejected.  I didn’t expect gifts or good things from God.  I have even said, it doesn't pay to have hopes or expectations, then you are not disappointed.   I THANK GOD, that He did not give up on me or my mess and has sometimes gently and other times not so gently peeled back the layers to expose those hurts of the heart and then miracle of miracles, He places a healing balm on the rawness and takes me to a different place in my trust of him.  I know that as I walk in Him and trust my Abba Father, more layers will be peeled as the timing is right and I am ready.

One thing God showed me was that He put Godly men in my life to love me with His love so I would know what His love was.  I didn’t realize or appreciate at the time, but have since realized how blessed that I was to have those men to pour kindness and love into my life.  I want to issue a CHALLENGE to those wonderful earthly fathers, to those men who are good, and moral and loving, to those men who might not be a father but still can be a positive influence, BE A POSITIVE INFLUENCE in someone’s life that DOES NOT have a positive male role model.  So many kids have no idea even who their father is, some are abused by the men in their lives, others ignored, and the list could go on.  Be a game changer for someone.  It doesn’t take a lot of time to smile and say hello, how are you?  And often that is enough.  It doesn’t take long to give a quick smile and hug and say I am glad you are in my life.  Maybe a fishing trip with a side of conversation.  It doesn’t take long to pray for a child.  I want to challenge you Godly men to make an eternal difference in someone’s life by giving them a picture of God’s nature in flesh form so they can develop a focus beyond the here and now.

I praise God for my spiritual fathers.  I no longer ask, "Daddy where are you."

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